What brings you joy? True joy? And I don’t mean the fleeting feelings of happiness, or Marie Kondo’s idea of what sparks joy. This is a question I have been asking many of my clients this weekbecause most of us are at home, doing the best we can with working from home, taking care of
households, taking care of kiddos, and helping with e-learning. There may not be room in our homes toget some space from all those bodies hanging around. We may not be getting as much done as we hope to get done.
So, when I ask this question about joy, I want to know where your true joy comes from. Many people get their joy from outside themselves. For example, from playing with our kiddos, hanging out with friends at our favorite coffee place, even from meeting new moms at Indy Mompreneurs
networking meetings. All of these things, though good, still come from outside of ourselves. At this point in time in our lives, we are all facing something together, and are being told to stay home (for the most part). What this means is that we aren’t able to meet beyond virtual meetings and bond in the way we crave on a primal level as human beings. I can’t tell you how to find your joy because it is different for everyone and we are all different people. What I can share with you is that, more often than not, it comes from looking inside ourselves and filling up our own cup, in whatever shape, or form that takes. Many people search for it in meditation, knowing themselves, exercise, prayer, or a relationship with God. These are just a few examples, but we may be able to find our true joy in this time because we aren’t distracted by social gatherings and the ‘next’ thing on our list. So, what is holding you back from knowing where your true joy comes from? I might answer that it comes from not being ready. When I say ready, it may be about allowing ourselves to feel whatever we are feeling, instead of distracting ourselves from them. Some ways we distract ourselves might be exercise, virtual social gatherings, scrolling social media, playing video games, or binge- watching TV to name a few. And I am sorry, but there is no answer for being ready, other than accepting
that we aren’t ready. (Go ahead, try to say “I’m not ready yet” out loud if you want. It’s hard!) If you are trying to avoid having difficult emotions (like grief, sadness, or fear), the best thing we can do for ourselves is to admit them and allow ourselves to move through them. It isn’t always
comfortable. In fact, I’d say it’s rarely comfy. I mean, I don’t know about you, but I hate feeling grief. Can you think about when you have a horrible, ugly cry by yourself, or with your bestie. How do you feel afterwards? Better, usually, right? That’s kind of what I am talking about when I say move through our emotions. What is on the other side of discomfort tends to be a calmer, more joyful experience.
So again, I ask, what is holding you back from experiencing your true joy today?
Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it! If you are looking for more support through these emotions, please reach out to a therapist. There are so many willing and waiting to help you throughout the entire Indianapolis area. We are here and truly do want to walk beside you on your journey to finding true joy.